warning: extreme rant.

i dont know what to do with myself. everything's falling apart. and i mean school, grades. im sorry i just have to rant right now because im crying & i have nowhere else to go. im struggling so much this year...and its only october. currently i have two Cs, a D, and a B in a class i should have an A in. and i dont have a clue how im doing in spanish because she hasnt shown us grades yet. all i know is im barely past the gpa required for me to not be put on academic probation. and this is all stressing me out. the thing is, im actually TRYING this year. last year, i blew off school towards the end because i was being a stupid, emotional wreck. this year, ive concentrated on my school MORE and im STILL doing bad. i SWEAR im actually trying. i pretty much gave up aim; i only go on once in awhile during the week. i dont spend hours on myspace or facebook anymore. im actually trying. and im doing so horrible still. its really discouraging and upsetting and depressing. im dreading the day progress reports go out because my parents will never understand. they'll say that im not trying..(which i AM, now!)or they'll say that i go out with my friends too much..(which i dont even do anymore...) or they'll say that i concentrate on choir and class committee more than my academics..or they'll blame it on the fact that i have a boyfriend...but what they dont see is that its none of these. because im actually trying this year. i mean really, i pretty much stopped caring about everything else...ive even lost something that i miss greatly but i cant find the time or energy to do anything about it because im fcked up in school.. aj;lsdk i dont want to fail at life. God, i need a miracle..