who?

all most of the attempts of writing chunks for my multigenre paper have failed me. why does it seem so difficult to write about myself? i mean, i do it almost every day of my life anyway. more so before, though. so i decided, today, im gonna blog with words. maybe itll lead me somewhere...i dont know why im having so much trouble with my chunks lately. maybe its because im kind of lost right now. im not sure i know who i am anymore. im not very fond of who ive been lately. so then i ask myself, who do i want to be? i want to be me, thats who. but who is me? i must sound insane right now, and not making any sense whatsoever. maybe my mom is right. maybe i have lost my way. she wants to send me to bible camp. maybe i need it. i wish i went with my mom to church today. it's wednesday and i didnt stop by earlier today. its okay though. ill just talk to God tonight. maybe he can help me find myself. hmm. im stuck. i dont know what to say now. this isnt leading me anywhere..nor is it leading me to inspiration for a chunk. i guess ill just do what i do best: rant. lets go with what makes me smile. i could use for some picker-uppers right now.
closing my eyes and listening to passion's voice when he sings christian songs soothes me more than anything. going grocery shopping after you havent gone in a long time, is so much freaking fun. i miss summer and the beach. hand written notes and cards are the only things that bring tears of joy to my eyes when i read them by myself. i love looking back at old pictures and realizing how much people have impacted my life. i miss the spirit of christmas. dancing makes me forget everything in the world except music. i thank God everyday that im filipino; no joke. watching a single rose in a small vase open up and bloom makes my heart smile. orchids are better than roses though. theres something about being on the stage, with other people who share the same passion as you, that feels so good. when i can see a couple stars in the night sky, i always want to tell someone. i like to pretend what people tell me in my yearbooks are sincere. wearing a new jacket gives the feeling of getting a new skin, untouched and untainted by the world. watching any guy that can dance freakin excites meeee. my obsession over bags really does keep my stuff together. when i hear a harmonizable song on the radio, i sing along harmonizing. at church, i do the same. coffee flavored ice cream can cheer me up, no matter what. hot pockets make the perfect quick lunch, freaals. mcdonald's hashbrowns are so freaking delicious. being outside is more fun than being inside. the feel of the sun on my skin makes me happy.
i have ran out of thoughts for tonight. bah bye.