update.

i havent really blogged in awhile. here's the deal though. ill write like my old xanga. minus my disgusting aLterNaTiNG cAPitaLizaTiON oF lETtERs, and numb3rs r3plac1ng l3tt3rs. lmfao. that was so nasty. agh. aaanyway, hmmm. so update! V.ENT Dance Awards are tomorroww!! im so excited(: it's not big or anything i think, but still. it's my first kreative movement performance so i cant wait(: last night at practice, i felt so good after. like you have no idea. i remember the first time we had practice, i had a hard time: meeting people and even choreo. i was totally shot down. i felt so discouraged and disappointed. like, "what am i doing here?" im a person that gets discouraged and disappointed so easily. i was so upset then. haha. but now, im doing a lot better. i guess i just wasnt used to learning so many pieces at once. i was overwhelmed. but its fine now. i can already tell that im improving: i get compliments now(: and im getting to know ppl better too! i love being with kreative. the aura and the vibe of dancing with them...i just wish i felt like that ALL the time. i cant think of another time when im any happier. freals. one thing i love about the KM Family is that everyone is SOO NIIICE. like, its everything i thought show choir would be..haha...whenever the KM Family gets together, EVERYONE gets hugs. i mean, thats nice isnt it? to get about fourty-something hugs in one time? who wouldnt want that? it makes you feel so good. and so happy(: i like being happy. i wish i was more happy when im at school. im starting to hate school more and more. which is NOT good, at all. anyway, i said i dont care what people think. partial lie i guess. of course i do care. but its only of those that matter to me. besides, i agree with marylin monroe. if you cant deal with me at my worst, you dont deserve me at my best. if you dont want to deal with me, im not gonna force you to. but please dont keep me hanging. dont lead me on. dont make me think that you will be there, that you're willing to deal with me when i cant deal with myself..and then go and say things about me, over exaggerating something that i would never even do. as for you, yeah, i can keep a grudge. you dont need to tell me that. its not exactly something im proud of, but its not something i can really change either. honestly, i get upset whenever you question who i am. sometimes you make me hate myself..and i dont think, of all people, you should be someone that has that kind of affect on me. and you wonder why its hard for me sometimes to open up to you... now let me ask you, do YOU accept who i am? because if you dont...please tell me now and ill just leave. ill stop wasting your precious time that youd rather spend with other people.
for the sake of not ending this post so bitterly... im freakin excited for the pop show!! our class is doing thriller and its gonna be freakin BOMB. we get to be monsters! ahahaha this is gonna be fun, i know it. oohmaannn. oh oh oh and another thing. the dance number is gonna be hella sick too :D i freakin cant wait for it. its definitely a booty mix. hahahhahaa. weeeeeeeeeee!