odrdiser

i was at the library forever today...dad got stuck at work. so anyway, i was trying to find some books on gout for my anatomy presentation tomorrow and they didnt have any. instead i ended up reading books on depression and mood disorders. reminded me of health last year. lol. when i went up to check two of the books out, the librarian gave me a look. haha i thought that was funny. so i smiled at her and now she probably thinks im checking these books out for a school project. haha aaanyway. well a lot of people in my life probably think im just over dramatic and over exaggerating my feelings sometimes. i thought it was just that too. but iono. this is becoming unhealthy. and ive been this way since last year. maybe its more serious. so i did my research, and i have symptoms of MDE and SAD (seasonal affective disorder..yes it DOES exist!!). but i think its more MDE than SAD. i dont know. i dont think anybody understands how serious i think this is getting. its not right for anyone to be breaking down as often as i do. and lately im always upset or stressed out...not sleeping or eating well...and i never want to be with people like i used to. somethings wrong with me and i need to find out fast..before its too late. its one thing if ive just been like this for a week, but ive been like this since last year. so iono. im still debating with myself about whether im actually gonna talk to someone about this.

freaaak. i have 40minutes to finish my powerpoint and crap so ill update again some other day.