frustration with thyself,

is the most upsetting! self disappointment. self aggravation. aggghh. my chance to really prove what i could do, and i felt completely lost up there on stage. it being our first time ever doing the entire dance number all together, i felt like i had no idea what i was doing. and it was embarrassing. i was embarrassed of myself; upset & disappointed that i was lost. this probably isnt such a big deal, but when the dance number is basically all that excites me in doing the choir shows anymore disappoints me, then i get a little upset with myself "/ and despite people telling me that i did an awesome job, i knew myself, that it could have been sooo much better. hahaha. "you are you're worst enemy." i totally believe in that. ahh anyway. i guess, thank goodness it's only the first rehearsal. i am hoping by the actual show, i'll be comfortable enough with the number that i can actually perform it full out: facials and all :D

due to current events => i wish i took my own advice. it's not difficult at all to give advice to other people, and to make people feel better..but why is it too easy to be so hypocritical? oh the beauty of human nature..dont you just love it?


god, this song is just so powerful and so full of meaning. like, it just hits you. i love it(: