the things i cannot change, i cant accept. the things that i can change, i cannot find courage to do so. where does that leave me? lost. and afraid. alone and terrified. i feel like ive pretty much lost faith in myself. i cant find strength in the places i look. and the places where i am forced to go, i end up hurt. it's a lose-lose situation. i miss being unafraid of taking risks. of taking chances. with each passing day, and with each painful experience, the more i lose faith. the more i am unsure of what i want. the more i question what i have, and what i lost. i feel so confused. yet it's these very questions that make me get up and out of bed every morning. it's these same questions, concerns, and fears, that make me want to pursue this journey of life; that make me want to prove someone wrong...prove MYSELF wrong. i can do this. i can live and not just exist. i breathe as everyone else does, why cant i give myself the chance to live? being too cautious is a horrible thing. no risks means more what ifs. i deserve a chance to succeed this challenge. but as of right now, im a lost girl. trying desperately to relive her past, but at the same time, move on to the future. unfortunately, some things are just like mirrors, vases, or windows... after they have been broken, they are thrown away.. because you would only hurt yourself trying to put it back together again. sometimes, the paper cut is more painful than a knife cut or a scissor cut. sometimes, it's the small things that hurt the most.
there's only one way to go now: FORWARD.
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