scribbler of dreams.

reread my favorite book of all time, yet again. i dont know what it is about that book, but i love it so much. maybe because i can somewhat relate...to the story of love. of hate. of lies. not murder, but yeah. you know, the best way to betray your mind's desire to think, is to take a walk. for about, two hours. two hours and thirteen minutes. yeah, it's the perfect way. gee, and the cool taste of a coffee flavored frap and the casual talk with a good friend, was only temporary satisfaction to my boredom and loneliness. if you ever want to know the best way to get yourself to hate the world around you, be at home by yourself for about eight hours. and with everyone rejecting your calls...even your mother didnt get to pick up. not their fault of course, everyone lives a busy life. not their fault of course, that i pretty much dont have one. with nowhere to place the blame, its heaviness weighs upon my intestines. dont ask me why i used the word intestines. attempt at comic relief, perhaps. trying to get myself to not be so damn pessimistic and pathetic. hahahaha. yah. thats pretty funny actually. the other night i had a dream. or a nightmare, i guess. have you ever had a dream where you dreamed about something that already happened? except in your dream, it turned out different? in your dream, you weren't afraid to tell the truth...in your dream, you weren't afraid to say how you feel...in your dream you werent afraid to stand up for yourself? man. what a dream. what a nightmare. anyway, dont you just love it when you're able to sit and absorb the wonderfullness of your favorite book, but you cant get yourself to freakin concentrate on something you have to read? truthfully, i hate that. damn it. before i started writing this post, countless thoughts were dying to explode onto my keyboard. unfortunately, sometimes when you want to do something, and you go out to do it...you lose courage. faith. hope. love. happiness. peace of mind. man oh man. now im trying to fool myself into thinking that i'm writing about this blog post. truthfully? i dont know what i'm writing about. truthfully? im lying to myself.

hope you had a nice day. cuz i sure didnt.
but thank God for Mary E. Pearson.